Saturday, March 29, 2008

Relationships are like eggs

Recently, a friend forwarded me one of those encouragement email with wonderful pictures and stories, which I would usually read and go "Yah, yah, I read these before lah!" But somehow this time, as I read the message with a different mindset, I felt as if everyday I'm treading on landmines. Perhaps, it's the situations that I've recently encountered both at home and at work.

I'm attaching the whole message to my blog, so that it will be a constant reminder that relationship is fragile and to handle it with care.


TRUST

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?' The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.' It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered, 'You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? 'Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.' The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, 'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, 'Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck.' Then he asked, 'but when are my fingers going to grow back?' The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired... Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Toa Payoh Lorong 8

Barina and I were reminiscing the good old days of our childhood of how brave our mothers were - leaving us (as a young child) alone in the house while they ran errands. Barina's mum used to switch on the Rediffusion, so that it looked as if someone is actually at home to deter Adrian Lim’s counterparts from kidnapping kids who are left alone at home.

Gee, I think our mums have a lot more trust in their children than us towards our own children. I would be worried about safety first. However, I believe they did take the necessary precautions like locking up the grilles and so forth. But I think children of the last generation are more kuai(1) -- actually, dumb may seems more like it. Nowadays, kids are rather kuai(4)-l*n.

Talking about the famous murderer of the 80’s – Adrian Lim. Suddenly, everything began to fall in place. Barina and I found out that we actually came from the same neighbourhood as Adrian Lim (actually, he stayed at Lorong 7, but Lor 7 and Lor 8 is separated by just a canal.)

I used to stay at Blk 232 and Rina stayed at Blk 233 - the one with the provision shop downstairs. Her sis, Marina and I are of the same age and we came from the same primary school - Braddell. I've wondered if we've ever met before.

A couple of years back, I also found out that Wai Kit and I used to stay at the same block. What a small world!!! The funny thing is that I didn't manage to bump into any of my old neighbours, whom I used to play masak masak with, but am now connected with neighbours that have moved out from Lorong 8 to all over Singapore and then landed up in NUS and eventually became good friends.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Hi! Fly Guy

It has been a busy weekend -- driving Gavin for his pre-Lasik evaluation on Friday, followed by his Lasik surgery on Saturday and review on Sunday. It would be have been ok, if not for allowing my kids to tag along with me. Or else, I could have at least do some window shopping at Paragon, while waiting for him. In the end, I was stuck at the clinic for more than 3 hours on both Friday and Saturday. I finally decided to pack my kids to my mum's place on Saturday night for some PEACE at last!

That is Gavin with his googles, which he needed to put on for a few days before he goes to bed. My sons has been calling him "Fly Eyes", as the googles are round and bulging -- looks like the aerial view of the Esplanade.

I remembered 5 years ago, when one of my friend went for Lasik, it was rather expensive, like $2,000 per eye and one has to pay cash up front. Nowadays, I rather afforable (slightly more than $2k) and it can be paid by installment somemore. Cool! Hmm, I wonder when will it be the day that one can pay for Lasik through Medisave?

I was just telling Gavin that it's a bit "bo hua" (not worth it) for him, as he has been wearing contact lenses all these while and it didn't make a difference in his outer appearance. Like all woman, I guess my rationale would be for vanity sake. However, my very practical husband tried very hard to explain to me that it's because his spectacles are always thick and heavy; and putting/removing contact lenses is a chore. (By the way, the power of his eyes are about 1000 degrees each.) I do wonder if choosing contact lenses over spectacles is consider vanity? Thus, I conclude that Vain is not only limited to Valerie, but also to GaVin!

Friday, March 7, 2008

My New Toy for 2008

Finally, got my hands on the SONY T200 camera. I actually wanted a red one, but they only have silver or black for the promotion, thus I chose the classic silver one instead. Aly has got the exclusive red one, which she bought last September when it was first launched. However, I got the better deal, cos mine is cheaper and it came with the photo printer, camera case and 1 extra memory card FREE ... hehe.

But comparing gadgets and promotion can be such a heartache. Technology is happening so fast that within a year, there are many newer and better models with more megapixels being launched. I had my fare share of such "sim-tia" moments too.

My previous one was a Canon Ixus 40 and it had served me well. I always carry a camera in my one-tonne handbag, although my Dopod has a built-in camera. I do not wish to miss out on capturing memorable ocassions, such as of my kiddos, impromptu gila ideas of sabo-ing my colleagues and not forgetting for site visits. I think I have fiddled with the switch on my camera too much and it had became loose. Gavin suggested that I sent it for repairs, and I tried very hard explained that besides that, the current camera is only 4 megapixels - hello??? And seriously, after 3 years of fully utilising it, I am glad to pronounce it's retirement -- fully depreciated.

Lately, I have noticed that I had not developed a lot of pictures and thus lesser photo albums lying at home. I used to take roll and rolls of pictures, capturing the growth of Bryan's growing up years. It was almost like a roll every month, until he turned 2. And after that, I limited myself to 1 roll per quarter and it was a really causing a strain on my neck to wait so long to develop those photos. That's why, I decided to invest in my first digital camera. Now, I can suka suka view those pictures from my computer and also share it with my family and friends. But I have one concern which is having to diligently back up those digital copies, which I have not been doing so lately. I can't imagine what would happen, if my external hard disk will crash on me one day. CHOY! Hmm, maybe I should get myself another external hard disk at the next computer fair.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

It's That Time of the Year

March is a love-and-hate time of the year.

FINANCIAL YEAR END
Busy closing accounts. Chasing for payment, paying bills ... etc.

PEAK PERIOD FOR EVENTS
Got to finish up the remaining budget, thus more events were planned towards the end of last year to utilise the money.

RESULTS
Yah! Mum here is more anxious about Bryan's CA results. I often wonder who is really taking the test.

MARCH SCHOOL HOLIDAYS
Erh … don’t know to be joyous or not? Always wanted to take leave and bring the kids out, but then again it’s my peak period at work.

IT SHOW
Yippee! That's the only thing that I look forward each March. I'm defintely going to the IT Show which will be held from 6-9 March 2008 at Suntec. The other forthcoming ones are: PC Show on 12-15 June 2008 at Suntec and Sitex on 27-30 Nov 2008 at Expo. But am limiting myself to only 1 gadget a year... expensive leh. Am eyeing for a digital camera this year.

Hopefully, I'll keep my sanity intact this March! But more of it at the IT Show especially!

No Pain, No Gain

I never knew doing sports on the Wii Fit / Wii Sports can be so tiring. The short distance run is enough to kill as I was panting like a dog.

And the next day, my knee caps were aching from jogging on the spot without wearing sports shoes. I've got to apply Glucosamine cream for the next 2 days. Gavin is no better. He did 100 rounds of the hula hoops and was complaining of bodyaches too.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Manhunt Singapore 2008

I think this year's manhunt award should go to Mas Selamat!

Will Mr Mas Selamat please come forward to claim your title!
Hurry up! or else your title will go to the first runner up!