God is My Mechanic

My washing machine is on the verge of breaking down for the last 2 weeks. The water has been trickling in by the millimeter and it took more than 3 hours to just wash a load of clothes. Since it's not worth repairing a 10-year old machine, Gavin and I are thinking of changing to a new one. Thus, I was casually asking the Lord that it will last for another month or so, till I receive my bonus in December! Last night when I reached home, Gavin shared that God has given him CLEAR directions to resolve the problem earlier in the afternoon. Gavin is not very good at repairing works. He is worried that if he tries to dismantle up the machine, he may not be able to put it back. Since we are planning to buy a new one anyway, he thought might as well just give it a try. The most is having to buy one this weekend! However, God directed his eyes not to the machine, but to the root of the problem – the filter in the tap head which is choked with rust. From our perspectives, it just seems that the machine is simply old and giving way. But God knows what's going on. He is not only a carpenter but a mechanic too. He not only heals people but machines also. God is concerned about our problem with our washing machine -- what more about our lives? Just like Soo Sing's sharing/prayer last night about how God provides her doctor with a CLEAR diagnosis of her recent pregnancy bleeding issue. This morning when we washed our clothes, we can hear the strong gushing sound of water into the washing machine. I mean I detest washing, thus never appreciative of such background noise. But today, I am simply grateful to hear that sound again.

Waffles and Spaghetti

Gavin used to wonder why our woman cell group can talk non-stop, so full of excitement and thus always ending late. He shared that in his guy's cell, it's totally different, as they are "short-and-sweet" (erh, I mean their sharings), however too "cool" at times, until there's an awkward pause.

Gavin observed that in a woman's group, there is no "chance" of silence, but everyone seems to have something to share or comment. Someone could be talking about a particular topic and the others would be jabbing in to share their experiences too.

Huh? That's not really new what? -- and it's not as if it's his first time encountering it .... Hmmm, I thought it's rather similar to our daily conversations. Often our kids would chip in and asked the most difficult question "WHY?". I would also sometimes cut into his conversation or thoughts, whenever my brains are processing at twice the speed of his detailed sharing.

At our first meeting, we have a good time breaking down the gender glass barrier. I read a summarized article on the above book on the different processes of thoughts between men and women.

"So des neh"! Now I began to understand why MAN DON'T GET IT (and I don't mean the tagline for UOB Lady's credit card!)

Excepted and slightly summarised ....

Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.

Men process life in boxes. If you looked down at a waffle, you will see a collection of boxes separated by walls. That is typically how a man processes life. Their thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one box at a time and one box only. 

When a man is at work, he is at work. When he is watching TV, he is watching TV! As a result of thinking through life in boxes, men are by nature problem solvers. They enter a box, size up the “problem” that exists, and formulates a solution. 

In contrast to men’s waffle-like approach, women process life more like a plate of spaghetti. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you notice that there are individual noodles that all touch one another. If you attempt to follow one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles and you might even switch to another seamlessly. 

That is how woman faces life. This is why a woman is typically better at multi-tasking than men. She can talk on the phone, iron the clothes, hearing the children making noise in the background, and signaling the husband to go and check on the kids in the room. 

As a result, most women are in pursuit of connecting life together so they solve problems by talking things through. This creates significant stress for couples because while she is making all the connections, he is frantically jumping boxes trying to keep up with the conversation! 

The man’s eyes are rolling back in his head while a tidal wave of information is swallowing him up. When she is done, she feels better and he is overwhelmed. The other characteristics that create havoc in male/female interaction are the fact that most men have boxes in their waffles that have no words and no thoughts. These boxes are blank as a white sheet of paper. They are EMPTY! They help to relieve stress in his life, he will park in these boxes to relax. 

Amazingly, his wife seems to always notice when he is in the park. She noticed his blank look and the relaxed posture he has taken on the couch. She assumes this is a good time to talk since he is so relaxed and so she invariably asks, “What are you thinking, sweetheart?”

When stress hits, a man also likes to escape to a favourite easy box to recharge. Most of these escapes actually are shaped like boxes: the newspaper, TV, computer screen, fridge and bed! If we give men time in the recharger, then they will have the energy to listen to us and carry life’s responsibilities.

When a woman is stressed, she likes to talk her way through the situation, making emotional connections. Guys, you will do well if you view the conversation as a journey she is going to lead you on. Just by listening to her heart, she may think you understand her well and will be a happier woman.

SO WHAT'S THE CONCLUSION?

YES, I'M VERY DEFINITELY A WOMAN, AND THE MAN STILL DON'T GET IT!

Finally Caught Up with 2008

It’s so fast to know that we are coming to the end of 2008 -- just like Singapore’s inaugural Formula One Race – before you know it -- the whole place is done up in a jiff and after that, it’s 61 laps down. Although this year is supposing to be a “Year of Sabbath”, but I find myself busier than ever. Perhaps, that’s why so that we can then practice learning to rest in the Lord in every circumstance or situation. The beginning of the year was good reminding myself to go slow and to spend more time with God, my family and my children.

I think I failed towards the mid of the year when we became short-handed at home with Gavin starting on his new job; and at work with Rina’s absence. Then, there was also the world economic crisis, but our family crises came much earlier. We were much more prepared knowing that we had just survived our family crisis and it will okay and enough. With all these happening so quickly, I find myself running on a threadmill at an even faster pace. Doing the same old routine and concentrating on running and eventually forgetting to turn to the source of power again. It was only until NOW - 31 December that I remember to pause and reflect on my life this past one year and deliberately taking time to pen this down. Should have switched off that exercise machine earlier!!! 

 As I began to look back, many moments of joy first began to flow back to me, which is left me a sweet lingering taste. Hopefully, I try to erase the hurting ones soon. There are so many other things I want to give thanks for: The smooth transitioning of Joel and Bryan of moving on to the new childcare, Little Skoolhouse. Especially Joel, who used to cry pretty often at the previous school. Now he’s Guy Smiley again. 

Bryan & Joel for being just them. Got a few canings here and there, overall, they are pretty good already, especially Bryan who is learning to be more sensible. I think his enrichment class did work for him. He gave Gavin and me $50 each today from his hard-earned savings to thank us for everything. We decided to still take $50 from him to teach him about giving, however, we spent it on their favorite Sakae Sushi instead. 

An over-the-causeway trip to Genting Highlands over CNY. It was partially subsidized by a relative, however, we managed to bless her back eventually with some luck at the jackpot during the last hour, when our relatives offered to relieve us from babysitting the kids, while they waited for the tour bus to arrive. 

“Gifts and surprises” blessings. Bought my Samsung Omnia at the Singtel Roadshow and won a Sony 32” TV. I also won the first prize of $70 Robinson vouchers, sponsored by my own dad for the lucky draw at our annual family Christmas party! 

In celebration of the 10 years of my marriage to Gavin and NUS, God leads me to something I wished and prayed for 10 years ago regarding these 2 areas of my life. I am rather surprised as God remembers everything and just as I was simply being sucked into in my own life and almost forgot about that. I thank God for showing it to me once again and waking me up from my slumber. Hopefully, he can also give me the same energy and fire, as I had 10 years ago. The spirit is willing, however, the flesh is weak. 

I started work in NUS in July and married in October of the same year. Both are like my left and right hand. It’s difficult to let go of one or the other. Often keeping them both balanced is hard. Although practice doesn't make it perfect at all, it does help makes things easier. 

Our 10 years of marriage is not like the bed of roses as you see now. We just leaned that rose shrubs need space to grow and the depth to allow their roots to develop. We also had cut from the thorns, got sunburnt from toiling under the heat and it takes a constant effort to water and prune them. It also calls for rolling up the sleeves and trousers to uproot the weeds or grass. I read somewhere before that a new rose bush is like a baby, while it requires a lot of love and attention at first, it will grow stronger and more independent with time and you will surely be proud of the results! It takes us both 10 years to mature as a couple and to be more tolerant of each other weaknesses and see our strengths instead. We still quarrel, but lesser petty issues nowadays. We can even joke about us being becoming accustomed to one another, or simply getting old already… haha. 

The other love of my life is my work and workplace at ARI, NUS. I still like what I am doing there still. It’s not that I’m loyal and signed life to NUS; or got no aspirations to move on. Besides, knowing what satisfies, motivates, and keeps me going, the most important reason for coming to an office of which many are more than colleagues, but turned friends, as we see each other 8 hours a day and 5 times a week. Many have left ARI, however, many of us are still in touch. A special thanks to these pals whom we had walked closely with and held hands in 2008. 

Yati – the one with big listening ears, and someone is who always there when I needed help, since day one when I started work at NUS. 

Rina – for being the advisor. Her sensitiveness and resourcefulness always calm me down. Through her, I’ve learned to go slow and not to bulldoze in my work, life and food, but taking time to appreciate the things around me more. 

Sharon – for being the new blood, for her initiative, and for allowing me to “boss” her around at times. She has been a great help. She’s also my new drinking pal - actually I’m more the newbie. I must get her to serve me “Blardy (M)ARI” the next time. 

Aly - for her understanding and maturity for many things in life, despite her youth. I go to her for my counseling sessions slumping on her comfy couch. She will not hesitate to give me a swift kick-in-the-butt when I’m a bit deranged. A fantastic khaki to share a cab to Wheelock for a cuppa of mocha or sometimes retail therapy to liven up our sour kana moods. 

Giving thanks to my spiritual family for their prayers and for showing me about God’s faithfulness and love in each of their testimonies. This year has not been an easy one especially for all, particularly for Rebekah and Eesh. We will continue to trust in His hope and victory, as we journey together.

Last but not least. Thank you God, for Your hands upon my family and my daily work, and for the many learning opportunities. For Your guidance and strength. Your faithfulness and providence. For the peace to know that life will be getting more challenging in the next few years, but you are there with us. May you continue to lead me to a purposeful and meaningful life.

I Cried At My Sons' Graduation

Today is a very busy day, as Gavin and I have to rush from Bryan's Mindchamps Graduation at Toa Payoh to Joel's Graduation Concert at Ghim Moh.

Every child was asked to stand out in front of the class to read what they wrote in their Thank-You to their parents. Being the sentimental Bryan, he couldn't control his emotions and started to cry. I asked him why he cried. He replied that he was very touched by what his friends had written and when it was finally his turn, he felt his emotions all welled up. Mummy also shed tears of joy and am very proud of him.

This is what he wrote on the card.

Heart-shape card of thanks.

Dear Mum and Dad, You are special because you help me pay for the things I want. Next time, I will help you pay for the things you want. I will never be selfish again. Mum and Dad, I love you because you care for me. mum and Dad, I will never lose you. Love, Bryan.

Leave-shape card of wishes

Bryan Tan: 1) I wish that my parents will spend time with me more often. 2) I wish they will be together in a happy life.

He simply loves the red cap.

Bryan with Teacher Johanna

Chef Joel performing a dance of "STOMP" with pots and pans.

By the way, he used to call himself a "cooker" when he was young, before changing it to "chef". I can't help but share with you his other "ER" jokes, which often had me in stitches. A straw is called a "sucker". A hanging hook is called a "hooker".

Supposedly, he was to be a farmer, but somehow I thought he looked more like a swordsman.

Guy smiley is so happy that we were there to catch his performance at his school concert. Although, he is not graduating till he's in K2 next year, however seeing him grown at a tremendous pace and is now able to perform 2 dances for me, makes me wanna tear again. I can't imagine when he graduates next year, I'll probably have to wear my sunnies and bring more tissues.

As you can see, it's always Joel bullying Bryan.

Lady-killer swordsman! Mr Baey in the making?

Among his "boy" friends (so called)

Joel with form teacher, Teacher Zai

A very tired swordsman. A pre-Chinese New Year shot? Yeah, I didn't notice that both of them were so red until I downloaded the pictures.

It's All Worth It!

Finally, I managed to hold my peace and waited till the end of 2 years to renew my mobile contract and most importantly to change my mobile phone to a SAMSUNG OMNIA. The annual Singtel Roadshow (around this time of the year) promises good bargains and freebies. So I left my kids and hubby at my mum's place, as I was mentally and physically prepared to queue for more than 3 hours just to get a new phone. However, the noticeboard there announced a minimum waiting time of at least 5 hours, which I thought it's crazy, as the dailies each day reported on the economic downturn. BUT, the crowd at the roadshow seems unfazed and I queued for more than an hour just to get a Q number! And another 2 hours hanging around the BookFest which was held concurrently at the same venue, before Singtel paged for me to return to collect and pay for my new handset, which took another 15 mins. By then, I was too tired and hungry to queue again to trade off my Dopod.

I thought I would just end my day with dinner with my parents and family for dinner at Viet Cong along Bras Basah Road. However, my parents decided to walk to Suntec for some shopping for winter clothing for their winter trip to Korea at the end of the year. Seriously, I'm not sure where did I get the energy to walk back to Suntec again.

Immediately, upon reaching Suntec, I drag my family and headed back to the Singtel Roadshow again to trade off my old phone in the mass trade-off exercise. Indeed, I got a better trade-off rate of S$100 instead of $60, which I just checked with a Singtel shop the night before. I was extremely pleased. Then, I decided to stop by the redemption counter to exchange my receipt for a mug shot of my family, as a souvenir. The guy over the desk told us that he's participating our picture in the lucky draw to win a TV. Yet again, we spent another 1.5 hours there. I was so damned tired but very pleased with my new handphone, the higher trade-off value for my old phone and a souvenir mug shot. I didn't think much, but just wanted to head home to wash up and plonked on my sofa and watch my weekly dose of "Mobile Love Story"... Bliss.

Guess what? Almost a week later, Singtel called me to inform me that I have won a SONY TV in their "Best Smile Contest". Of course lah, I'm happy with my purchase that day what! But I think one of the main reason is having my whole family join in the picture to fill up the blue background, that's why the picture looks better...hehe!

Other than the lucky jackpot at Genting Highlands this year, which I played for fun during my last hour before heading back to Singapore, so far this is my biggest prize that I have ever win in my life. Seriously, I do hope to win a TV, as the TV at home is a bulky CRT TV, which we had for almost 8-9 years, and I think it's still very reliable that it can last us for another good 5 years.

I'm so happy with my SAMSUNG OMNIA and 32" SONY BRAVIA. It's all worth the queue!

I Saw a Rainbow Today!

God sets His rainbow in the sky
to remind us that
His promises never fail and
that His love never ends.

Bread & Butter, Bacon & Eggs

I tell you it's really tough explaining to kids about what we do at work. Below are his drawings of our jobs based on his understanding of what I tried explaining to him. At that moment, I wish I held a noble job, such as being a teacher or policewoman, and it is easier to explain to them too!

I think my own dad too faced the same problem (like me) explaining to the young me then about what he did for a living. I remembered checking with my dad frequently about what to fill up under the section on father's occupation on the form, and as to how I should portray him in my composition about 'my family'.

In my primary school, dad told me he was a policeman, and of course, I'm not stupid lah, as I have not seen mum washed and dried his uniform.

It was until in secondary school that I finally knew what he does. When he finally revealed that he's a  co-partner of an electroplating company, my sisters and I did not believe him at first, as he cried wolves too many times. It was only when he showed us his name card, that we try to believe him and even tried our luck to cajole him to buy us Reebok track shoes. Perhaps, that is one of the reasons why he hid it from us ... hehe

Oh man! I looked like a rabbit with floppy ears. Geez, if you don't know me, you could have thought I was an air stewardess or travel agent, based on his drawings .... hehe

It was only when Aly asked if the 2 other people standing in the background are Sharon and her, that we suddenly realized that it's not only Joel, but the majority of the kids are very observant. And I remembered often that he is able to draw for me the things he sees during his outing trips.

Erh, this picture seems like Daddy is selling eggs rather than machinery. And ah boy only gave his dad a few strands of hair - so poor thing.

I'm simply amused at the way Joel first draws the toes before adding the bubble shoes. And I also tried correcting him to draw the legs below the skirt or pants, rather than within the clothes. Perhaps, he really got X-ray eyes.

I love asking the kids to draw for me, as it is often funny and it reveals something about them too.